This was one of the challenges from this year’s Lent course, to help in our discussions with others when talking about our faith – I’d like to share with you my experience….
Playing around on the internet I found the perfect online quiz to help me with this. After answering 10 multiple choice questions, it pronounced I was definitely a Deborah. Well, I know sometimes I can be quite determined, and maybe even want to use a tent peg other than for pitching a tent sometimes, but I wasn’t sure this was quite right.
I talked to a colleague about the ‘Faith Pictures’ course, and asked her if she would agree with the character – immediately she replied that I wasn’t a Deborah (whatever was I thinking!), I was quite clearly an Esther. Oh! I hadn’t thought of her . . . so I asked another colleague, “Am I a Deborah or an Esther?” Again, no hesitation, I was an Esther.
So I asked another colleague who agreed to give it some thought over the day – just as I was leaving work she told me that she could think of no-one better than Esther to describe me! I was beginning to feel a bit unsettled by this, whatever was God telling me?
At the Lent Group that night I was telling this story to a church member that I didn’t know very well, but didn’t give the character’s name. She looked at me and said “Did they all say you are an Esther?”! Oh my goodness, God was trying to tell me something. I had such a visceral reaction to this, I went so cold and goose-bumpy, I thought I had better start praying and finding out more . . .
The first description of Esther I read said “Esther was undoubtedly beautiful …” – I didn’t need to read any further! (I’m not that daft, I carried on reading!). Esther was a woman chosen by God to do his work, but in a measured way, sure of her commitments and her place in the situation in which she found herself. She was considered in her actions, and looked for ways to undertake her task whilst still respecting and understanding those around her. She strikes me as having a well-developed Emotional Intelligence, an understanding of how people ‘tick’, and a clear sense of wrong and right.
Most importantly she knew what she believed to be right, and determinedly and loyally followed her actions through to achieve the desired outcome, showing a resilience and surety that I would like to possess.
I am still not sure what it is that God is telling me, and am praying hard for Him to make it clearer, but I would value anyone’s insight to help me to develop my understanding of whether I really am an Esther, or whether you think I am more like a different character. The course has certainly given me food for thought, and challenged me in a way I wasn’t expecting.